The healing gifts of art.
Art for healing, is that possible?
I don´t know, but I intend to try.
Right now I am trying to get better after a long and severe illness progress and treatment, which is still going on but set on hold until March 2017 in order to give me and my body a chance to heal before next step of rude examinations and treatments. All of you who have followed me on this website know what it has cost me on my professional art production and business in 2016. With 9 months sick report this year, my artisically 7 1/2 year old professional company might not survive the Danish tax payer system this year. Nobody else can survive that.
But I am so much in a personal crisis and shock over how ill I have been and how much this illnes, primary hyperparathyreoidism has damaged my life, brain and body, that I don´t care right now. All that matters to me is to heal from my bad and painful experiences in the Danish health care system. I use my art creation in 2 different ways:
1) Escape from my traumas moving away my mentally focus to something funnier.
2) Deepen in my traumas and live, write or paint them out.
The first mentioned is the easiest. Works like a plaster on my inner deep wounds. The daily laugh.
The last mentioned is like playing with fire. The most difficult journey of them all. But also the most needed of all my inner journeys. I have to find and move my own psychologically limits a little bit each time I do it and then stop before my day gets totally blue and then practice an activity which makes me happy.
Escaping, running away from what has happened by making satire or adventure illustrations is considered a heathy way of coping one´s destiny, but in my case it leaves me in a mentally vacuum, where I can´t get on with my life. So for me the perfect mix is lauging and crying by turn, making glad and painful art by turn.
That rubs off on my art production this autumn, which if all my artworks for the juried spring exhibitions - and publications are selected will appear as bits of a very mixed bag, showing my state of mind right now:
Ups and downs.
Laughs and cries.
Just like everybbody else with this discease, I might just have a little bit more to fight, and I don´t have the energy for it, as I have had some bad experiences everybody else luckily has been spared from.
Experiencing an anaphylactic shock during a medically test, the world´s most mortal dangerous allergic reaction in June this year is one thing I will never get over, I think, and the system offers me no psychologically help at all. I am not entitled to psychology compensation, I am too old, so I don´t get any help at all at that point. Being locked up in my own burning body feeling like my inner organs where cut up by knives and set out one by one, trouble breathing and with a lower and lower pulse, gliding backwards in a tunnel (lack of oxygen to my brain) without being able to express myself, cry for help or move away from my situation is the worst thing I have experienced in my life at all.
...- and at the same time one of the most inspiring events in my life, I think. I have always followed ny heart, and right now it tells me, that I am doing the right thing sending these painful artworks, a spray paint art and a photo artwork in for juries in Denmark, as I still have to stay near hospiatals in Copenhagen area the next year.
Also my, a couple of blogs ago mentioned "escape artworks", Grimm adventure illustrations are now send in for a jury somewhere.
Because what else should I do with this long illness period of mine this year, if I shouldn´t use it for getting on with my artistically career? I can´t use these extremely bad experiences for anything else.
One thing is for sure:
I don´t blame the nurse who happened to do this to me. Because this allergy of mine was unknown.
The 2 last weeks I have been in some articles in big famous Danish woman magazines as a woven heart artist, wife, designer and artist. "Ugebladet SØNDAG" (3pages) , week 47, and "Familiejournalen", (1/2 page) week 48 (This week) with an interview done just 1 week after my surgery. My surgery plaster is still visible on my neck on the photoes. Thank you very much for some great articles! My exhibition at the Woven Heart art Museum, Julehjertemuseet is still in progress until Dec. 18th 2016.