Time for writing...
There is a time for everything.
Also for coming to terms with traumas you never stop pushing ahead of you like a Sisyfos stone which gets heavier and heavier, which nobody helps you with. You´ll have to do the hard work yourself. Inside yourself. In your mind. And you know it. You just don´t take yourself the time you need, thinking you´re able to work yourself out of it. But you can´t. There is no easy ways to cope with it. To get it out.
Right now I´m hit by a severe painfull reumatism attack in a great part of my hands, which means that I´m unable to hold a brush or a pencil. I can´t paint or draw right now and I don´t know how long it takes this time. Maybe some days . Maybe the rest of the winter. I don´t know. I´ve got used to it, used to the fact that it limits my art production. The only thing I can right now is typing on a computer though I´m using the 1-finger system.
It also gives me a break to slow down, think and feel deep inside.
Since my last Box-blog, this blog has passed 100.000 readers, and I ´m celebrating that start writing on a book about a deep sorrow in my private life, which began 1 1/2 years ago, lasting for ever, and which nobody has understood, until a couple of days ago, when I met one, who did. She doesn´t know but she inspired me to begin writing about this kind of deep not socially accepted kind of sorrow which I think only 0,1 % of all human beings experiences. It´s about a dangerous tabu, which nobody else has had the courage writing or telling about in public, dued to anciety for being judged or stigmatized.... Therefore, it is a secret, which drags me away from other people, getting more and more closed and lonely, because it fills up my head. I know some people considers me for being too affected right now, because I´m topping artistically right now, too, but I´m not. I´m just filled up with feelings, nobody understands og nobody will believe exists... It is also difficult to write about without losing even more personally or hurting the ones you love. I don´t know how long it takes to write the script for my book, I just have to take myself the time I need to write it.
In Nov 2011 I won a scriptwriter course with Barbara Slade at The Animation School of Viborg, took it, and in Jan - Feb 2012 I published the 3-4 short stories from the competiton at www.lisbetlark.dk, promising myself and my audience / readers, that I wouldn´t stop writing.
I don´t know if I´ll ever get an opportunity to publish my book, when I´ve written it (in Danish language) . It´s strong matters, and takes some wide shoulders to write it, stronger than the devastating time, which has passed. Nobody exept my husband and closest family know what I´ve gone through the last 1 1/2 years. I write it for my own sake in order to be able to get on with my life, and then if any publishing house should be interested in publishng this book, when I´ve finished it, I might do that.
The other week I gave an interwiev to one of the biggest Danish newspapers, "Berlingsle Medier" at The Woven Heart Art Museum, DK, making some Christmas lifestyle photo shoot, and the week after we also made a small video with me as the scriptwriter and hostess, which will be produced and published on the paper web-site by Berlingske Medier. The article wil be published in this paper Nov 24th 2015, and at the website the same day along with the video. I´m exited to watch the result.