Box blog April 13th 2018 (244254)
"In good times we live
In bad times we learn."
Lisbet Lark, this morning, April 13th 2018.
"Boy at The Balloons" ( 2016).
But .... what if your fate hits you over and over again without stopping for a long time? Like a Sisyfos, and the only difference between you and him is that your body which is expected to push up the stone and claimb the mountain again and again is being more and more damaged by the fate stone that hits you over and over and over?
Is this sentence of mine waterproof?
For me it is, but not without fights, sacrifices and certain depriviations.
In the summer 2016 I was VERY ill from what showed up to be a hormone suffering which was spoiling my body bit by bit. I was unable to work or take care of my own gallery, hour long kidney stone attacks tortured me several times each week and I had to go through lots of hospital examinations. During one of them I had an allergic reaction, too, giving me the experience of a burning body, unconsciousness, astma attacks and itching exzema for weeks. That summer an accident happened to me at home, too, caused by somebody I love with all my heart.
Worse than worst case scenaria came true...
That damned nightmare summer I learned how important it is to have an illness break in an environment which I found inspirering, funny and with lots of happy people. To be able to move my thoughts away from anything that hurts. I spent all my "hospital off- time" at benches in TIVOLI in Copenhagen even wearing inside measuring instruments on. One of my favourite activities: Watching other people and their behaviour.
Among all the exited and screeming kids in all the amusements in the old beautiful garden, I spotted little quiet wheelchaired boy at the balloons. All of his inner universe and adventure possibilities were in those balloons. No wonder it took him at least 20 minutes to make a choice among the helium wonders. Just enough time for me to find my sketch book and draw this situation in a few lines for the artwork I have later named "Boy at the Baloons" , which were the start of creating my miniature art exhibition "Med lup og blyant." (With magnifying glass and pencil) which I had in TIVOLI, Copenhagen in autumn 2017.
That day this happy little hero missing one foot gave my own life a new perspective. You can always find somebody who are more disabled than yourself no matter if you have a "male flu" or if your body is being spoiled by a illness over 20 years without your knowing before it is almost too late.
No self-pity after watching him. In a split second I learned not to let my victim- and patient roles take over my life or be the meaning of my life. I learned NEWER to let my illnesses and handicaps be my identity, but "just" my new life conditions. "Just" because that is much easier said than done and I have been working on that ever since that day. Thank you my little hero and thanks for visiting me last autumn in my miniature gallery in TIVOLI, Copenhagen.
Miniature artwork "Boy at the Balloons" is my 3rd " left over " artwork from my exhibition in TIVOLI last autumn which has been selected for a juried exhibition in USA, this time completing my New Years resolution sounding:
" In 2018 I will learn how to use my disabilities to get ahead."
For this juried exhibition, "Art of Possibilities" at Courage Kenny Rehabilitation Institute in Minneapolis, Minnesota, taking place from April 27th to May 18th 2018 only artists with illnesses and disabilities at the time of artwork creation were eligible. Artwork will also be included in an online exhibition. It will be for sale overthere. A s I myself dued to my health trouble with my accident hit paralyzed gullet and stomach mouth cannot be present and sell this artwork, please, just ask for Laura overthere and she will take care of everything if you want this artwork.
Thank you for selection. Thanks for the funds and all the huge work done by volunteers making this exhibition possible.
That is all life is about, isn´t it:
THE ART OF USING YOUR POSSIBILITIES.
multi-faceted Danish artist.... - and spare time life philosopher.
The other day somebody said to me:
"Lisbet, I have become Box- blog addicted. "
" Ha, ha, ha, welcome in the club! Over 244.000 people can´t be wrong!
Isn´t it better reading a blog than being medicine- addicted? "
Incredible, that so many people finds my double life in this blog interesting: The life of a Mrs Nobody poorly anonumeously patient in Denmark combined with my successfull life as an international artist outside Denmark which I cannot take part in myself. My artworks are doing the job for me.
Thank you all for following me!
This time it took me 4 painful months to get going again. Theraphists had given up on my feet at New Year, but I have succeeded in developing and creating my own artificial heel limbs, which I am walking short distances on now. It takes me a lot of time creating them each time I need a new pair, and I also need to spend some time developing a summer version, but they are worth it, I think.
About 3 weeks ago I let my crutches go for this time. I am not the type who is waisting my time so 2 days after, Feb 27th I was picked up by a taxa and driven to the Library of Gentofte in Copenhagen where my artwork "Tit" was on a very short 1- evening show and used as an illustration for a talk in Øregaardssalen by the French- Danish art historian and cat behavior expert, Michelle Garnier.
Thank you very much for a nice evening... - and sorry for coughing so much.
.... New chemically allergy developed = new astma attacks...
Some answers have arrived, and it doesn´t look good for my expected art exhibition activity in Denmark. Despite the fact that I am born, raised and grounded in Copenhagen for health reasons the next 8 1/2 years, I don´t feel bound to deliver exhibitions in Denmark at all, as I am getting no financial support at all from founds or the art society here in DK.... and I am sorry: No money .. No cookies or free entertainment.
I live in a small narrow- minded Jantelovsbefængt nepotistic land (sorry this word doesn´t exist in English) with a potential art talent crowd of 6.000.000 people, where they can´t see mine, ...... and dued to my health I cannot go to a land with a potential talent crowd of 325.000.000 people and much more competition about the places on the international juried exhibitions, but where it is difficult for me to be ignored.
Actually, I am trying to built up a new life on my new health conditions. Hopefully they are not permanent, but 8 years are a long time of a life of an active artist life like mine to be denied to exhibit in my own country with my artist CV, when my physically survival depends on living next to a certain Copenhagen hospital with expert help, and renting business rooms in Copenhagen for an exhibition is too expensive. I guess some of you thought, that I would not survive that. But just wait and see. What I don´t have in my legs and body, I have between my ears.
So this year I have for the first time during my 9 years long artistically career decided not to create art exhibitions in Denmark, as I the rest of this year have 2 private apartments in Copenhagen to decorate with art and design, wall - paintings, ceiling paintings, hand-crafted stucco and so on. Sorry, they won´t be public available when I am finished. But that is the consistency of my situation, and actually I love it! I love this anonymeous life of mine in DK.
I have no deadlines on these big ceiling- or wall artworks, so I have started to learn myself standing on my toes on a stair and paint.
So now I stand on my deformed fore-feet on a stair and paint!
Thank God , one is not overweight!
Working like this gives me the needed flexibility to create my own liquid food for my paralized gullet and take care of my health during work.
It looks like my miniature artwork, "Boy at the Balloons," has arrived in USA, but today I still miss a receipt that he has been delivered to the Courage Kenny Rehabilitation Institute, Minnesota, USA, selected for a juried art exhibition, April 27th - May 18th 2018. Thanks a lot for selection, and for the founds and volunteer work that make this exhibition possible. Wellcome to a lot of new blog- readers from Minnesota! I hope my little boy will do my work for me overthere.
More about this artwork in my next blog.
Best regards Lisbet Lark.
You can reach a lot if you do a little each day.
A little is better than nothing.
I can´t stand.
I can´t walk.
I can´t eat normally.
- but I can do a little every day to get on with my life and make it easier.
I can sit and work.
I can think positive thoughts.
During this illness period of mine, where it some days is almost impossible for me to get out of my apartment, I have the perfect opportunity to finish and realize a lot of my pieces of unfinished furniture crafts ideas and house decorating in my private home.
During the 4 years we have had this small apartment of ours since a flood in our earlier home, I have always found a good reason to spend my creativity on something else than making my dream of a beautiful home come true and finish my house decorating and rebuilding of this old fashioned small apartment. Things were done, when I had nothing else to do and when we had saved the money for it.
But now where I practically seems to be nailed to my home by my health for some years, I have prioriated working on it, a little bit each day. This changed attitude of mine this winter has payed a good dividend, giving me the memories and travelling experiences I miss, in my own home instead:
- My new toilet - and bathroom has been finished after 2 years nightmare without a normal functioning bathroom and toilet. "My home is my castle" - style. It has become gordeous! - and it makes me glad to watch!
- I have created new alternative loft lamps from an old paper artwork "Magic Carpet" which has been et the Sofia Paper Art Biennale and at a juried exhibition in England. Afterwards it has spend some years in a plastic box in a storage room, where we have moved it around some times. Should it stay there for the rest of my life? Or should I activate it as an asset and give it a new life with a function? Yes! I have given my butterflies a new life. Now they are living under a ceiling of mine
- New power has been done by electricians all over our apartment as there were leaks in the old one.
- New and quicker television net has been installed though I don´t own a television myself. Don´t have time for watching it. I don´t need to be entertained. I can entertain myself. But now it is there just in case I should change my mind.
- The beautiful polished granite plates from the floor of my earlier exhibition place, Kulturhulen, are right now becoming new tiles on the wall of my kitchen. The old ones were broken.
So I am working on my home a little bit each day, keeping it in repair and I get a lot further than I had expected!
For me recycling always has been natural. When I can use my recycling design abilities putting up my precious memories around me, it heals me. I feel present. I feel the positive experiences of my life are appearing for me each time I come into a room where my memories are a part of the decoration and it makes me glad.
Artistically my health has forced me to slow down.
Therefore, I am waiting for some answers from some juries, before I continue creating new art or sending in new entries. No more simultaneous entries to juried exhibitions and museum exhibitions.
I will not stress myself just to suit other people.
It is winter time and February is my time off for domestic doings.
Time off for inner absorbtion.
Time for change.
"Can' t you paint my Sofa animal?"
My earlier neighbour asked me in 2008 when I still was an abstract painter.
Her relationship had been cracking for a while, so I asked her:
"Your teddy bear, your husband or your cat? "
In my opinion there were a bit crowded on her 2 pers sofa and it could be any of them.
" My sweet cat " she said..
"OK, then I first have to teach myself how to paint something that looks like something" I said. "Then I will do it some day."
That day has come now, 10 years after, I have decided.
I have started up painting the artwork in my flora- fauna illustration line. I have always been experimenting, creating new art medias.
Always, and I always will, no matter how ill I am.
This illustration line of mine "Flora Fauna" which is the only one of my 7 illustration early lines developed in 2015 which till now I haven´t sent in for any art juries, is caracterized by containing no ink. Instead I use watercolor and colour pencils. On attached picture I put on a layer of watercolor with a brush.
My life´s first cat painting might take a lot of time to create as I am still interrupted every 5 minutes by health caring activities, liquid food, servings in teaspoon size dued to an accident in 2016. I hate it! It spoils my social life, and grounds me to my private residence in Copenhagen. It drains me. It occupies all my time.
As you saw on pic in my last Box- blog I am also using crutches dued to a real heelspurr, a bone hook deformity under my heel, a newly arrived suffering which is very painful and cannot be surgeried without damaging my foot completely. It came while I had my exhibition at TIVOLI Copenhagen autumn 2017 maybe from standing up 12- 14 hours a day, which was why I had to stay at home at let another take care of the gallery during the last half of my exhibtions in TIVOLI, my miniature art exhibiton: " Med Blyant og Lup" and my paper art exhibition "Blood Moon."
From the beginning of the new year my long draining kidney stone attacks returned, 8 1/2 years more to go according to my doctors before the storage in my kidney should be empty, as they are related to an hormone illness I had a surgery for in Oct 2016. For me it is an irreplacable loss of fredom and time going through this after 10-20 years of Primary Hyperparthyreodism. I exspected to be free of symptoms after the surgery by now. But no. Attacks have reduced in duration and number since my surgery and there are up to 1/2 year between the astroid swarms from my kidney passes by like bolts from the blue and make my life into a living hell on Earth.
Damn! I really got a blank in the health lottery.
But I NEED to deepen myself as much as possible moving away my focus from my health.
This art break and creativity of mine means EVERYTHING to me now. Not only using my creativity to solve health trouble but also spending it on funny activities like creating new things, it not only works like a theraphy it is also creating hope in all it´s life-affirming infinity.
It gets me out of my bed in the morning.
It makes me raise and walk an a painful foot.
It motivates me to create boring looking diet liquid food and eat it.
It forces me out of my embroy position during and after a kidneystone attack.
It makes me came back and climb this mountain again and again.
It gives me back the reason to stay alive again and again.
It makes my life.
It gives me a reason to live.
I BREATHE THROUGH MY ART!
It is difficult almost impossible for me to travel with all these health trouble and limitting handicaps. But my art can. My art do it for me! My art is out in the endless world! I am flying!
I am happy to get informed each time my museum artworks have been exhibited. Just before this new year I got an E- mail all the way from Argentina. I am not good at the Spanish language, but as far as I could understand, my 2 miniature artworks " No1" and "No2" had been exhibited from Nov 27th to Dec 15th 2017 in the courthouse of Buenos Aires and I got a greeting from the city council. Thank you for that and for the certificate documenting my participation! You don´t know how much it means to me that you give me a voice through my art though I have almost lost my own.That you still count me out there. My art keeps me alive and very present.
Dued to my health I am right now climbing the mountain being knocked down again and again each time I paint. Like another Sisyphus.
But everything I can has grown out of my life crisis. So why not belive in it this time, too?
Right now I don´t know the destination of my first cat artwork, but maybe this blog will show or give some opportunities as so many times before.
Some filming is taking place during my work, proces will be published on my INSTAGRAM profile @larklisbet.
Happy New Year